Recycled Storylines & Tacked On Happy Endings

"Arete" n. That To Which All People Aspire
See Also: Strength In The Face Of Adversity

Ramblings Of A Happy Little Girl

If you know me well enough or have spent any amount of time with me in the past year, you would how hard these are to come by. 

But lo and behold, tonight, there isn’t much room for anything else. 

Looking back, I have never ever ever really splurged on myself. I don’t know. I’m not tryna make myself look good here. It’s just always been more fulfilling for me to spend on other people. My reasons are selfish, really. I like getting people exactly what they want. Or better yet, something that lets them know I paid attention, I remembered. The excitement, the hugs, and the occasional squeals and tears make it all worth it. I like being the one who makes them happy. But today was different. Today, two words: retail therapy. And you know what, it was a blast. 

I get to spend two whole days with my family, cousins and all. Bouncing around this stupid hotel suite like little retardos. If there’s something I’ve recently learned, it’s how I’ve taken this, all this, for granted. But that’s in the past. Today, we ate and drank, we talked and we laughed. And I couldn’t have asked for anything more. 

Like most people (the weirdos like me, at least), I do most of my thinking either in bed or in the shower. Tonight was the most perfectly cozy holiday night of all. I lay in the bath tub for god-knows-how-long, and just thought. But not my usual horribly pessimistic or worried thoughts, just how terribly nice it was to not think so much for a change. Then I had myself steaming cup of hot chocolate. And really, is there anything like wrapping your hands around that little cup in a freezing cold room and blowing on it so the steam that comes off it warms your face? Is there anything like curling up comfortably under the covers? I think not. 

And just when I thought my night was drawing to a close, a phone call. On the other end of the line, my cousins telling me to drag my ass to the lobby so we can get me my 2012 Starbucks planner I’ve been drooling over. 

And on top of all that, I go online for a bit, only to find that one of my best friends, Mikey Javier, left me this (among other things):

You’re one of the most intelligent people I know. And one of the most balanced. I mean, given all that chaos you have to work with in school and with your family, it truly is amazing how you pull everything you do, off. And Jesus Christ, dyou know how naturally cute you are, and how beautiful you get. (Ok, I will stop because this sounds like I’m hitting on you :))). 

Well what I’m driving at is you are in a pretty good place. I know how you don’t like hearing how lucky you are, but that’s not what I’m saying. What Im saying is how lucky everyone is to have you in their lives. Sometimes, I feel useless because all I can do is listen to your problems. But you remind me how important I am to you and I’m glad that I still get to be.

The Christmas gods have been too good to me this year. 

After all is said and done, all that’s left is this: I’m not gonna break my old traditions, but I think it’s time I make new ones too. I’d like to think I’m finally learning to do things for myself. 

And with that, Imma get back to my cousins and our alcohol-laced laughter. After all, ‘tis the season to be jolly, right? 

Happy holidays, everyone. :)

  1. tonybattung posted this